From Decision Fatigue to Disciplined Clarity
One of the things I've noticed about coaching founders—especially founders who believe they have to be at the center of everything—is that they rarely complain about making too many decisions.
Instead, they tell me they're tired.
They'll tell me they don't know what to do next. Or they don't know where to go, even though their calendar is full of meetings and their to-do list is a mile long. Most assume they're burned out and they need a vacation. Or (my favorite), they convince themselves they're simply in a busy season.
Gary wasn't much different.
By the time we reached this point in our conversations, he had already done some difficult work. He knew the business depended on him more than it should and had begun letting go of the belief that he needed to be the answer to everything for the business to succeed.
He thought that realization would bring relief. He knew something was changing and that his leadership needed to change…he just couldn't figure out what that looked like.
I remember him saying to me, "I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing anymore." He had a calendar full of meetings, projects that were backlogged, emails he needed to respond to, and a long list of “I’ll get there eventually” items.
Even though it wasn’t the first time I heard a founder say that…it stayed with me because of how he said it. It sounded like defeat with no hope or possibility.
Over the years, I've realized that founders become so accustomed to solving problems that they begin measuring their leadership by the number of decisions they’ve made. But leadership isn't measured by that, it's measured by the quality of the attention you give (to yourself and others).
Looking back, I don't think he was exhausted because he had too many decisions. I think he was exhausted because every decision carried the same weight for him.
Everything felt urgent.
Everything deserved his attention.
Everything required his involvement.
And that's a dangerous place for a leader to live.
One of the most practical things we did together was surprisingly simple. We took every decision on his plate and divided them into two buckets. The first bucket was for decisions that genuinely required his judgment. The second was for decisions that required someone else's ownership. As you may have guessed, the second bucket was much larger.
His workload suddenly became lighter.
He realized he finally had permission to create space.
Space to think.
Space to anticipate.
Space to build the vision instead of constantly responding to the business.
Later, I realize we weren't just solving a decision-making problem. We were working through one part of what has now become my Founder Independence Framework.
Founders don't become independent by accident. There are predictable shifts they move through—personally and professionally—as they stop being the center of the business and start building one that can thrive without depending on them.
Gary didn't know we were working through a framework at the time. Neither did I. We were simply following the work.
The Decisions That Deserve You
Many founders believe leadership is about making decisions. I think leadership is about knowing which decisions deserve your attention. Not everything deserves an immediate response. Not every question deserves your answer. Not every problem requires your involvement.
One of the quiet lessons Gary taught me was this: Leadership becomes much calmer when you stop believing every decision belongs to you.
That doesn't mean becoming unavailable. It means becoming intentional. And maybe that's what having disciplined clarity really is and not counting the number of decisions you've made and calling it leadership.
Make peace with the fact that some of them were never yours to begin with.
A Few Questions to Sit With
Which decisions still come to you simply because they always have?
What would happen if you waited before answering the next question someone brings you?
Where has urgency replaced intention?
What deserves your attention this week—and what doesn't?
Sometimes leadership isn't about doing more.
Sometimes it's about becoming more disciplined with where you place your attention.
A Quiet Invitation
You don’t need to have it figured out. You don’t need to name it perfectly. Sometimes putting language to what you’re noticing is the first step toward understanding where you are as a leader.
From The Executive Desk exists for conversations like this. I create thinking rooms for leaders who already know how to execute.
If something in this letter—or in those questions—resonated, you’re welcome to share a thought or question with me.
Or, join the next Strategy Room.
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