Rebuilding Confidence Through New Evidence

There's something strange that happens when you finally start doing less in your business.

You expect relief.

And sometimes you get it.

But you may also get something you weren't expecting:

Doubt.

Lots and lots of doubt.

I remember when I was building my first coaching business. I finished every project. I solved every problem. I closed every client that came in (well, most of the time, lol).  I answered all the questions. I fixed what wasn't working.

I made the decisions.

At the end of the day, if I wanted to, I could look back and say, these are the things I accomplished.

There was tangible evidence that I was doing something.

Leadership doesn't always give you that same level of satisfaction—or the same kind of evidence.

Sometimes you spend an hour thinking about a decision you won't make for another three months.

Sometimes the most important thing you do when someone needs an answer is ask another question.

Sometimes you spend time developing someone without knowing if they'll fully step into the role you're preparing them for until a year from now.

And sometimes, you deliberately choose not to get involved.

There's nothing to cross off the list for that.

---

When the Old Evidence Disappears

I remember when I decided to sunset JSRV.

I stopped working with clients. I stopped building the practice. There were a lot of things happening in my life at the time, and I needed to recalibrate. I decided to put everything to the side and eventually start fresh.

But in doing so, fear, doubt, and a lack of confidence started creeping in.

That wasn't something I was used to.

For the first time in a long time, I wasn't moving at the pace I had become accustomed to.

I didn't know exactly how I was contributing.

I didn't know if I was doing enough.

I didn't always know what I was supposed to be doing.

I just knew that everything I used to do wasn't there anymore.

So what do you do when the old evidence disappears?

One of the things I've learned through my own transitions is that when the past evidence disappears, sometimes our confidence goes with it.

I think we assume that once we understand what needs to change, we'll automatically feel more confident about making the change.

But it doesn't always work that way.

Your responsibilities can change faster than your identity does.

Your business can need something different from you before you feel completely ready to provide it.

And you can be very competent at the next level while still feeling uncertain because you haven't accumulated enough evidence to believe that yet.

---

Gary Needed New Evidence, Too

Take Gary, for example.

He had years of evidence that he was a capable operator and a capable leader.

He knew he could solve problems.

He knew he could make decisions.

He knew he could keep the business moving.

But he had far less evidence that he could step back, trust other people, think further ahead, and still lead a successful company.

So in our work together, we needed to give him new evidence.

Evidence that the business could make a good decision without him.

Evidence that someone else could solve a problem differently than he would—and still solve it well.

Evidence that he could spend time thinking instead of producing something and that the time still mattered.

Evidence that stepping back didn't automatically mean things would fall apart.

And evidence that his value didn't disappear simply because his involvement changed.

Those things couldn't just be understood intellectually.

He had to experience them.

Because confidence is often a byproduct of action.

Without the action, nothing changes.

Sometimes you have to put yourself into new experiences long enough to give yourself a reason to believe something new.

---

Stop Measuring Yourself Against an Old Scorecard

One of the problems many leaders face during a transition is that they're still measuring themselves against an old way of thinking, being, doing, and believing.

Consider the CEO who's trying to step out of the operator role.

As an operator, you can measure how much gets done.

How many problems you solve.

How quickly you respond.

How many things move because you touched them.

But if you're no longer supposed to be the primary operator in your business, your questions have to change.

Your measurements have to change, too.

Instead of: How many problems did I solve?

Maybe the question becomes: How many problems were solved without me?

Instead of: How much did I accomplish today?

Maybe: Where did I spend my attention, and did it move something important forward?

Instead of: Did everyone get what they needed from me?

Maybe: Did I help someone become more capable without me?

Instead of: How much did I get done?

Maybe: Did I move something important forward?

Those questions measure a different kind of contribution.

And that kind of contribution can be difficult for us to recognize because we're tangible-evidence creatures.

We like to see the evidence.

We like the completed task.

The solved problem.

The finished project.

The checked box.

Leadership evidence can be quieter.

But that doesn't make it less real.

---

This Month's Leadership Practice

For the next five workdays, try something simple.

At the end of each day, write down one piece of evidence that you led well that day.

Not everything you accomplished.

Just one piece of evidence.

Maybe it looks like:

Someone made a good decision without me.

I protected time to think.

I let someone work through a problem instead of immediately solving it for them.

I made one important decision instead of twenty unnecessary ones.

Something moved forward without requiring my involvement.

Do it for five days.

Do it consistently.

Then, at the end of the week, read what you wrote and ask yourself:

What am I learning about the kind of leader I'm becoming?

This isn't an exercise designed to convince yourself that you're confident.

You're collecting evidence.

And sometimes that's how confidence is rebuilt.

---

A Quiet Invitation

You don’t need to have it figured out. You don’t need to name it perfectly. Sometimes putting language to what you’re noticing is the first step toward understanding where you are as a leader.

From The Executive Desk exists for conversations like this. I create thinking rooms for leaders who already know how to execute.

If something in this letter—or in those questions—resonated, you’re welcome to share a thought or question with me.

Or, join the next Strategy Room.

---

Enjoyed the read? Sign up to get more like this.

SIGN UP

Loading...

SIGN UP

Loading...

Thank you!

Please check your email to confirm your request.

---

---

---